Broken Together (in Joint Submission)

One night, as I was driving, I heard the song, “Broken Together,” by Casting Crowns. It particularly struck me as I listened to the lyrics, and the chorus resonated within my soul.

Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together
If you can bring your shattered dreams and I’ll bring mine
Could healing still be spoken and save us
The only way we’ll last forever is broken together

John Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

As I prayed and wept, the Spirit used the, “together” part of the lyric to bring to me a line of thinking I’d like to share with you.

Scripture exhorts us, “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor giving preference to one another . . ..” (Romans 12:10, MSG) In this age of acquisitive dominance, giving preference is the last thing on our minds. Both husbands and wives have advocates who tell them to watch out for their own best interests.  In fact, pre-nuptial agreements are almost expected, often even in Christian marriages.

Counterintuitive to this trend stands the teaching of Paul.  He directs husbands, “(L)ove your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it . . ..” (Ephesians 5:25, MSG) In that same context, He tells wives, “(S)ubmit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” (5:22, MSG) All this opens with a list of directives which concluded, “(Submit) yourselves one to another in the fear of the Lord.” (5:21, MSG) So, how realistic is all this co-submitting Paul says we should be doing?

Anecdotal evidence suggests joint submission is the only way marriage works well.  When both are giving to and preferring one another the marriage tends to succeed. The husband knows she’d do anything for him and the wife knows he’d lay down his life for her. Without that joint surrender, rancor and bitterness over perceived injustices tend to build up.  In time they will spill out and infect the relationship.

The same kind of dynamic works in non-marital relationships. Only as we all are watching out for one another can we find harmony and success. “Looking out for number one,” results in petty disagreements, where no one wins. The meek do inherit the earth by living in peace, rather than in in strife. Living as our Heavenly Father intended, with attendant blessings for the same, results in a win-win proposition.

Thank you, to those who know me best, for putting up with my brokenness. One of these days I’ll get it right, but by then I’ll likely be on the Other Side of Glory. Meanwhile, we can all practice together, and do as Paul instructs the Romans in Romans 12.  “Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:21, MSG) I submit that joint submission is the way.