Why Aren’t My Prayers Answered?

“You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.” (James 4:3 NKJV)

This scripture must be taken in context. Take a look at the surrounding passage.

“Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures. Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, ‘The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously’?

“But He gives more grace. Therefore He says:

‘God resists the proud,

But gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:1-6 NKJV)

James parked this verse in the midst of a chastisement of his readers about their fractious reputation. Look at the kind of imagery he used; wars, fights, lust, murder, covet, adulterers, adulteresses, and enemy of God. Wow! What a group! Sounds like some contemporary churches, doesn’t it? This was going on in some parts of the first century church and James, the acknowledged leader of the mother church in Jerusalem (and earthly brother of Jesus) was dressing them down for it.

Some have seen this first-hand in our day. Rumors start circulating about this or that person, but most often it winds up being those spreading the gossip who are actually misbehaving. Reputations are ruined and sometimes ministries are brought low and the body of Christ suffers for it. In the hottest part of this dressing-down, James threw in, “Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss . . ..”

Although this is a specific, situational observation it can be extended to other applications without doing harm to the intent of the scripture. So often what we ask for is motivated by what James calls spending it on our pleasures. What does that mean?

Many have heard the term, “political capital.” That is basically the favor one earns with an ally, a rival or a neutral third-party which can then be called upon at need. Both history and literature are rife with such examples. When one calls in the favor, one is spending their political capital. This is essentially what James implied some in the church were (and are) trying to do. They might think, “God, I’ve done thus and such for You, so You owe me this.” Fortunately, we serve a God who is above such trivialities.

In Matthew 4 and Luke 4, we see two accounts of the temptation of Jesus. In successfully passing through this experience, Jesus overcame the three major temptations mankind faces – the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life. In response to the second temptation – to throw Himself down from the pinnacle of the temple, since God would be obligated to protect Him – Jesus responded, “‘It is written again, “You shall not tempt the LORD your God.”’” (Matthew 4:7 NKJV) Had Jesus made that public spectacle of Himself, He would have had His religious bona fides established. Who needs three years of ministry and a bunch of unreliable, backwards men as followers? Let’s get this ministry kicked off right! That wasn’t God’s plan.

When one asks in prayer for something to elevate themselves, rather than what would please God, one is asking amiss. That’s why Jesus could with all sincerity later say, “‘If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.’” (John 15:7 NKJV) That’s not a divine, Get Out of Jail Free Card (or rather, “Get Whatever You Want Card”). As a vine must draw its sustenance from the branch to which it is connected, abiding in Him means that we learn to see as He sees, to desire as He desires. What we want will therefore be in line with what He wants. When we pray in accordance to His will, our prayers will be answered in the affirmative!

So what about when bad stuff is happening and God seems to be absent. How do we handle that? In short, as Paul tells us, God is making us into the image of His Son. As happened with Jesus, sometimes that entails suffering and the temptation to despair will come. Paul told us, “. . . God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” (I Corinthians 10:13 NKJV) The reward is great. Stand strong. Be faithful.

Get close to the Father; get intimately familiar with the Son. Draw near to Him and He promises to draw near to you. As you dwell in the shadow of His wings, He will protect you. He will defend you. And yes, He will grant you what you ask – just make sure you know what to ask for.

Related Scriptures

“‘For what is the hope of the hypocrite,

Though he may gain much,

If God takes away his life?

Will God hear his cry

When trouble comes upon him?” (Job 27:8-9 NKJV)

“If I regard iniquity in my heart,

The Lord will not hear.” (Psalms 66:18 NKJV)

Extra-biblical Resources

If you are already familiar with C.S. Lewis’s work, you already know this; he was arguably the greatest Christian thinker, writer and apologist of the 20th century. His combination of fiction and non-fiction works, along with his literary criticism pieces, were among the mid-20th century’s most deeply thought-out treatises. Three of his books are particularly helpful when facing trials – The Problem of Pain, A Grief Observed and Mere Christianity.

Those works discuss unanswered prayers and how the Christian benefits from such experiences. Carefully consider his writings. None are easy reads. As Peter said of Paul’s writings, they are often somewhat complicated but the are well worth the effort.